Make me a logo, get $500

It may be too late for me to strive for personal comeliness, but that doesn’t mean my blog has to look dull as well.  I’d like to commission some branding work from the Internet community.  Here’s the deal:

I’d like a 150 x 150 pixel logo for use on this website and possible print applications.  The logo should be direct, memorable and iconic.  Like me.  I’d also like an appropriately sized banner graphic for the top of the site.  The banner should include the words “Vastly Important Notes”.  All artwork has to be original and submitted to me by email.  If I select your work, you must transfer all intellectual property to me and I’ll pay you $500 via Paypal or personal check.  If I don’t select your work, I won’t use it anywhere and you may retain all ownership.  If I don’t receive anything I really like, I won’t select anything.  This offer is void if it’s illegal for some strange reason wherever you live; consider moving.

Oh, and I’ve already heard “*poof* you’re a logo”, in response to the title of this post.  Please send artwork or funnier jokes only.