Vastly Important Notes

A Realistic Plan For Saving Air Travel

There's recently been a lot of hand-wringing that the air travel experience is on an irreversible spiral to unbearable levels of craptitude. Fear not! By thinking outside the box I have come up with a way to change the paradigm and simultaneously exploit win-win synergies between security and economic stakeholders. Here's how the brave new world of air travel is going to work:

1. RFID chips will be in everything - all your clothes, toiletries, electronics, underwear, etc.

2. When you show up at the airport, you'll walk through a scanner which will instantly compile a full catalog of everything you're wearing and carrying using the above mentioned RFID chips. This information will be stored in XML!

3. You'll take off your clothes and put on a stylish paper gown. All of your clothes and other possessions will be placed into a box and incinerated.

4. You'll board the plane in your gown. Since everyone on board will be similarly attired, you'll enjoy a relaxed, spa-like atmosphere. Business class seats will offer a complimentary electro-pneumatic massage ($12 in coach).

5. As you fly, the information about your possessions will be electronically sent (via XML!) to a new joint venture between Air Mall and Amazon.com. Assuming all your brand licenses are up to date, an exact duplicate of all your clothes and possessions will be just-in-timed to your final destination.

6. Once you arrive and clear security a second time, you'll be given new copies of all your stuff. An efficient waiting area will be provided for people whose new clothes haven't arrived yet.

Think about it: total security and a big boost to our RFID, XML, PPRM (Physical Possessions Rights Management) and logistics industries! Low cost off-shore manufacturing gets a hand as well and who cares about quality when that Hugo Boss suit only has to survive until your next flight?

As an alternative to incineration, I suppose that your items could be cataloged, sanitized and given out to people traveling in the opposite direction, but that sounds like defeatist tree-huggery to me. The other alternative, low cost air-taxi service using a new generation of affordable light planes that are convenient, efficient and too small to be interesting terrorist targets, is just rampant crazytalk.

XML!

The Future of Air Travel

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